Watermelons There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!"

 

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?' The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.' The robber then shot him point blank, killing him instantly.. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, 'Did you see me rob this bank?' The man smartly replied... J J J J "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!" - Moral - When Opportunity knocks.... MAKE USE OF IT !!!!

Little Johnny is at it again...

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.

So our illustrious democratic President asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call a great loss.'

The room went silent... No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs... Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a damn accident either.'

Assalam-O-Alaikum 7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So both groups gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority . SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI): ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come...... When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes Away..... NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA): ------------ --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ - ----------- Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!.. TC arrives.... ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE. One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in Engg. Bathroo! m... TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined. SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA): ! ------------ --------- --------- --------- -- SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune. This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick. ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time... SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ............ ....... ..... Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train....... .... Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, don't mess with Engineers.

Visa matters a lot..!! In a poor zoo of Pakistan, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 2 kg of meat a day. The lion thought its prayers were answered, when one day a Dubai Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to Dubai Zoo. The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day. On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. The lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from Pakistan . The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered. The lion was so furious; it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,' Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?' The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle. .. but.... you have been brought here on a monkey's visa !!! ' Moral of the Story.... BETTER TO BE A LION IN PAKISTAN, THAN A MONKEY ELSEWHERE.

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.



CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean Ok? I thought it was a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.



Spelling lesson
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

Doctor: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai ? Patient: Doctor saheb.. Pahle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai. Doctor: dawai khali thi kya ? Patient : Nahi doctor saheb. Dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi. Doctor: Arey... mere kahne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya. Patient: Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur Maine le li thi. Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya ? Patient: Oho, nahi doctor saheb dawai to laal thi. Doctor: Abe GADHE, Dawai KO piliya tha kya ? Patient : Nahi. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha. Doctor: Abe Teri to, Dawai KO muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nahi ? Patient: Nahi doctor saheb. Doctor: Kyon ? Patient: Kyonki dhakkan band tha. Doctor: Teri to sale, to Khola kyon nahi. Patient: Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna. Doctor: Tera ilaaz main nahi kar sakta ! Patient: Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga Doctor : Abe teri .... Naukarani Ne Sushila Se Kaha, Memsahab Gajab Ho Gaya. Pados Ki Teen Auraten Aap Ki Saas Ko Peet Rahi Hain. Sushila Naukarani Ke Sath Balakani Se Aayi Aur Chupchap Tamasha Dekhane Lagi.Naukarani Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ? Sushila - Nahi Teen Hi Kaafi Hain. once there was an accident where the car driver hit the parrot. The parrot faints, so the driver takes the parrot to his home , gives first aid to it and then puts it in a cage with some food . When the parrot wakes up . in a shock it tells "aila!! jail!!!!!! gadi wala mar gaya kya????" Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.. Husband: Mujhe to ye tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achchhi lagti hai.. Police ne raat ke 1 baje sharab ke nashe mein tunn ek aadmi ko pakad kar puchha.. Raat ke ek baje tum Kahan ja rahe ho..? Aadmi - Main sharab peene ke dush parinaam per lecture sunne ja raha hun... Police - Itni raat mein tumhe kaun lecture dega..? Aadmi - Mere biwi..... Mail By: ~* ~ Shashi Shetty ~*~ <zzshashizz@yahoo.com> www.Cool-Surfing. tk ~*~ Dil ki Dunyaa, A family's Group ~*~ Post ur mailz at dil_ki_dunyaa@ yahoogroups. com Visit our web http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/dil_ ki_dunyaa Send blank email to join us dil_ki_dunyaa- subscribe@ yahoogroups. com __._,_.___

Posted By:

syed sadath

sssadath